Guidelines for Singles & Pre-Marital Declarations

Guidelines for Singles

I. Why do we have to wait – Purpose… God has a plan… Your steps are ordered

II. What to do during the wait  

A. Build a love relationship with God

B.  Travel

C.    Love yourself… work on self esteem issues and enjoy your own company

D.    Plan events with friends and family

1.     movies/go see a play

2.     ball game

3.     don’t be alone on significant holidays - do something different

i. travel abroad

ii. visit a nursing home, a hospital, a prison or volunteer at a homeless      

 shelter

4.     go to fancy restaurants or if you eat out a lot, go to a burger joint

5.     conferences – self motivational and spiritual

E.  Form good habits

1.     clean home or room

2.     balance your check book regularly

3.     have devotions regularly

4.     start a business

5.     start saving and investing

a.     invest in your spiritual life – study the word or take a bible course

b.     invest in your physical life buy a house, a timeshare property or join/start an investment club (have fun with some of your money)

6.     read (today a reader, tomorrow a leader)

a.     get audio books if you don’t have time to physically read

b.     read and study the traits of the opposite sex

              F.  Invest in your health and personal well being

1.     join a health club or get together with your friends for the purpose of exercising

2.     start eating healthier

3.     study the (health) generational diseases that are in your family tree

4.     get regular dental and medical check-ups

5.     get sufficient medical and life insurance

6.     look and smell good

                                                       a.     get your hair done regularly (women); get regular hair cuts (men)

                                                      b.     get your eye brows arched, manicures and pedicures done as much as possible (women)

                                                       c.     put on make-up (ladies); get the grime from under your finger nails (men); shave or shape –up your beard or moustache (men)

                                                      d.     regularly shave your legs and armpits (women)

                                                       e.     get a facial or a full body massage ( preferably by someone of the same sex and someone who is a Christian (men & women)

G. Do not choose someone because she is cute (men). Do not allow yourself to be chosen because             

     you are lonely and tired of being single (women). Do not get married because you want sex. 

H. Do not commit fornication – stay out of compromising situations

            I.   Pray for your spouse to-be (do not pray witchcraft prayers) 

Pre-Marital Declarations

Man’s Declaration:

I present the following attributes of my wife and I verbally define the steps I will take to obtain and maintain a strong marriage:

1. I will choose a woman that is pleasing to me but chosen by God. 
2. My wife is not needy. I pledge to cover her spiritually and secure her in my love. 
3. My wife is a team-player. I will maintain a clear vision for my life and our family. 
4. I will love the Lord and endeavor with my entire heart to please Him… I will be the priest of my home.
5. My wife is well-balanced in her emotions and is focused on being the best person she can be. 
6. I will know how to come in and out of the Holy ground, the battle ground and the play ground. Therefore, I will practice a holistic lifestyle. 
7. I want to be understanding, loving, kind, romantic and have a sense of humor.
8. I am a man… decisive, but not a dictator.
9. I have the spirit of prosperity so that my family does not have to live lack. 
10. I will not put my work, the ministry or any other entity before the needs of my wife or our offspring.
11. I will take care of my body.
12. I will successfully merge my independent way of life into one of a married lifestyle.
13. I will help my wife to realize her goals and dreams… I will be her coach and cultivator.  

Woman’s Declaration:

I present the following attributes I want to display in my life as a wife:

1. I will be a listener…, one who is attentive to the needs and desires of my husband.
2. I will be a nurturer of my husband’s dreams, goals and visions.
3. I will be a keeper of his vineyards. I will pray for all of his personal and business endeavors.  I will keep his secrets and entrust his faults to the Lord.  
4. If I have to hire help, I am going to make sure he is comfortable in our home.
5. I will be the best mother I can be (if applicable)
6. I will be an encourager… his personal cheerleader.
7. I will be feminine: his lady and his lover.
8. I will be a Godly example to our children.
9. I will be fun, full of life and adventure.
10. I will submit to my husband.
11. I will look my best for my husband (as well as for myself). I will stay physically fit and maintain a healthy lifestyle.